May is actually National Masturbation Period! In celebration, here are sixteen ways to explore doing you for if you want to pretend you aren’t referring to performing both you and prefer to just mention food.
- cooking cucumbers
- fondling the fig
- polishing your own peanut
- spearing the bearded clam
- stirring the honey-pot
- getting some Southern convenience
- rolling the cash
- shucking the oyster
- basting the tuna
- clouting your own cookie
- buttering your muffin
- making soups
- teasing the tuna taco
- softening the peach
- tossing the green green salad
- slicing pie
Found in
Outbursts!: A Gay and Lesbian Erotic Thesaurus
, by A.D. Peterkin, and
on Reddit
.
Ability picture
via Shutterstock
.
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Ryan Yates
was actually the NSFW Editor (2013â2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in
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